dead

I woke up on this beautiful day with someone breathing on my shoulder.

I turned around, and not only is this person not the soulmate in my dreams, but is also a dude.

what the fuck, god? THIS AIN'T A FUNNY APRIL FOOL'S JOKE. IT'S NOT EVEN APRIL FIRST.

time to shower the rest of the homo away. (I feel incredibly gay right now, holy god.)

You know what Allen needs to do? Tone it down with the hormones. I swear, I feel like I'm hanging out (living with) a bitchy hooker (a god-awful expensive one).

I'd take him to a strip club, but we're broke.

BONUS:
WHY AM I STILL WRITING IN THIS. LOL. 8|

dude. am i truly this old? :(

sometimes i have to stop and think: where the fuck am i going?








and then i remember: oh, balls; i don't give a flying fuck.

i have been enlightened with details i've been curious about since, like, ever.

this is so fabulous. gonna go fap to the fact that i was right the whole time. god, it's a burden.

going to the theaters all weekend without pay. i am so badass. 8l